I'm Afraid

• I don't disagree with anything you say, Lester.  It's just that I have to be careful with what I write.  If I write out anything too critical, too outspoken, it could be seen and I could lose funding for my company.  I could lose my job and the people employ.  I think you're brave, aren't you afraid that by being outspoken you might not get grants again?

I am afraid of that.




I am afraid that a Canada Council Juror or Alberta Foundation for the Arts judge will see this blog, and say that my 'politics' interfere with my 'art'.  I'm of course afraid of that.  Getting grants to undertake exploratory and expressive projects is difficult enough, in my professional career going on 5 years now, I've gotten perhaps a third, probably more like a quarter of the grants I've ever applied for.  It's a scary thought, to know that my 'politicizing' might jeopardise my career, my company, the wonderful number of scripts and stories and art that have found home on my desk.

But that`s also the reason I`m doing what I do.  Because I thought we did away with this sort of brute force, censorship, big-brother esque surveillance state years ago.  I thought we were a country of freedom.  I thought we were a country of expression.  A country prizing individuals, opinions, and truths.  My blog is biased the way I am, but I have not published an untrue thing.  I have made as clear as possible my opinions, and my speculations.  I have where possible, listed citations to reputable news articles and information, and am unafraid of recanting statements which prove untrue.

But I am unbowed.  As an artist, I can be nothing else.  I am governed by emotions, stories and human connections, and I will not be intimidated into silence.  Sorry.